You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
