And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
