Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
