is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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