she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
