it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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