Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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