talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
