Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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