somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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