The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Randomize
