sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
