all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
