I'm lost and stupid without you.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
