I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
