My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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