i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
