All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
