Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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