Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
