i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
