We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
