I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i think i just naturally attract stoners
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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