I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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