Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
