oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
