uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
