i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
