FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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