I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
