YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
