you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
