Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize