And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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