Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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