Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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