Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
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