i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
