you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize