Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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