Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
