tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
