My friends, they love my intelligence
Me too!
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Randomize
