can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
