My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
