and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
