I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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