so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Everything about him screamed your future.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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