If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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