Swine flu. Run for my life!
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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