he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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