But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
