And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
