He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize