If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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