Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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