from now on my penis is your penis
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
