her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I would fuck him just for his dog
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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