I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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