Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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