So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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