i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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