DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
