Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
