Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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