If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
