from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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