I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
