i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
we have pet lesbian snakes
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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