you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I love you.
Bad choice
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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