Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
