I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I have fence marks all over my body
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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