I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
