She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize