just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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