Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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