You really coming over, don't trick.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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