Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize